I grew up with two sisters who are 10 and 14 years older than me. On the flip side of this (because what is life but a paradox), one of my dearest friends, who also happens to be a writer, is older than me. Older doesn’t equal old. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and are very much in love. Emily, 40, and Albert, 62, first met through mutual friends when he was 44 and she was 22, and got married just a couple of years later. 6. Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. A 50-year-old playing 30 grew past its prime for me. He is just a terrific guy and I think the world of him. Being around a confident, fearless, female friend is empowering. The troubles you think would pass with time (like anxiety, cliché high-school-type drama and childlike males) will be things you have to deal with well into your later years. I lost my father 10 years ago. He made small talk and I … She is a woman who knows her worth, and she won’t settle for anything less. And while your younger friends may feel obliged to tell you what you want to hear, an older friend won’t sugarcoat the truth. ... the older person gets even older. My best friend for over 30 years, the love of my life, the woman of my dreams; after over 30 years of telling me that she loved me, and that we would always be at least, the best of friends, suddenly started hating me. ©2021 Verizon Media. In our younger years, we are often frugal with money more out of necessity than choice. Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. I’m lucky enough to have two really close friends. If I had grown up in this town, we would have been in school together and likely best friends. :] Finding true friends can be difficult. Her advice (should be) sound advice because she has the real-life experience to draw on. The perfect life we strive for or believe will come with time doesn’t actually exist. It also doesn't help that she's female and I'm male. First of all, older friends are a bit like grandparents; they let you do whatever your parents forbid. literally. On the other hand, my best friend can get me into some more modern things that I may not be familiar with since I’m older. Just the other day during a text conversation he said "I didn't start traveling until I was 30." My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of … N Volden i really love her but i usually get scared she might leave me when people tell me to date someone younger than me. But what if the age difference between you and them was just as significant as their personality? And there are a few benefits to having a friend who is older and wiser than you. Also called an age-gap friendship, an intergenerational friendship is when your friend is either significantly older or younger than yourself. To put it bluntly, sh*t gets hard, and a lot of Gen-Yers just don't have the maturity or emotional stability to handle the intensity of life's more difficult issues. An older friend can. My other closest friendship is a intergenerational friendship. And in just the same way I have done with younger friends, he eases my angst with a pat on the back and a gentle reminder, "you have so much time." That is the epitome of a full life. Like all friendships, it’s give and take. He gets along so well with your friends! I'm talking about decades worth of an age gap. Over the years, from fights and illness to triumphs and happiness, our friendship has endured it all. But, she can also be a complete mess, just like me. The only problem is, there is almost an eight-year age difference between us, and people bring it … 2 You are important in his life. I was born in 1977 and have two older siblings. Our conversations are some of the most fascinating I have experienced. We tend to stick to our own age group when socializing, mingling and meeting new people, so it’s surprising for people when they find out my closest friend is almost 25 years older than me. In an intergenerational friendship, there’s no judgment nor petty jealousy, either. "People often ask whether an older man is more mature than a younger one," Sherman adds. Women 23-32: Do You Prefer Much Older Men or Men just a few years older?, Relationships, 253 replies why do I attract older men 15-25yrs. You will never hear him saying things like, “Give me some more space, 'cause I have to focus on my career right now”. (Nope.) So to have an older friend tell me this is normal, well, the confidence that comes from that is invaluable. Probably a little of both. They are the first breath of freedom. I don't know how this makes him feel, but I love hearing stories of eras I don't remember and places I've never been. I thought it was awesome enough to share. This can be a humbling experience, to say the least. During any given week we should feel old and young, all at once. This was comforting, knowing there is still hope for me (and my … I have my oldest best friend and my older best friend. The first I have known since primary school. In the end, I gave up on my friends who wouldn't grow up, and have a whole bunch of other friends who appreciate us for who we are. Growing up, I always had older friends. Anna Kudak, coauthor of "What Happy Women Do," says. overnight. My older best friend is strong, hilarious, smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass. Things are never awkward; we can talk about anything and everything, and even when we haven't spoken in ages, we just pick up right where we left off. 5. Despite the gap, we have so much in common, and we always have a lot of fun. My Best Friend Is 20 Years Older Than Me, Here's What I've Learned. would you ever be friends with someone older than you 30 years? After they pick their jaw up off the floor when I tell them how old I am (because at 20, who can possibly comprehend life goes on after the clock strikes 30), they do a weird thing where a slight admiration sets in. A friend of mine jokes that I accumulate older women with weekend homes the way other people do spare change. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. I kind of view him as my little brother in the fondest way, but with none of the power dynamics of a sibling relationship. Maybe it was my maturity, or maybe it was that I liked feeling like I was ahead of the curve. She's my main friend I hang with. Simply put, we should all have the opportunity to feel young when we are old, and old when we are young. Besides what can i get her for birthday? Now pay attention. While he’s the oldest man I’ve ever dated, most of my exes have been between 15 and 20 years older than me. We have the same sense of humor. The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. So far, so normal. Gen-Y lifestyle can mean “treating yourself” comes in the form of a $10 bottle of wine paired with microwave noodles. Sick of talking about Tinder, hookups and last week's party? They make me feel old a lot, yes, but they also make me feel accomplished and grateful. I made a friend 30 years older than me ... Luckily an older gentleman came my way and offered (on his own) to help me get down without me even hinting I needed the help. I can talk to her about anything, and our talks range from discussions on our bodily habits to deep and philosophical musings, like whether the pursuit of perfection is a learned or innate behavior. We both are givers and people pleasers. And you’ll be grateful for it. The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. We do a lot of stuff together. It even gets a few raised eyebrows. I have a best friend that is a year older than me and she says that I mean the world to her and that she cares about me deeply and i care about her a lot too. My best/closest friend is nearly 10 years older than me (yes, I know, you didn't think anyone was older than me ), and I don't see anything wrong with that. And that our experiences have value. An older man who's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship. An interrogational friendship doesn’t just benefit the younger of the pair. I just crossed over last month into the third decade of my life, which means that within the last two years I've started to notice the lens through which the world sees me change. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. I'm not talking about friends that are one or two years older or younger. We were born in the same year and we've been dating for the past 7 months and now she's turning 17 in the next 5 days. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. And that our experiences have value. Her birthday was actually a couple of weeks before mine, she just didn't understand that I was born a couple of years before her. This is because she's been through the exact same thing a few years earlier. And as you hit your 2os, it becomes increasingly and indisputably obvious that when it comes to friendship, it’s quality over quantity. At the end of the day, age is just a number. Different perspectives on issues is a great recipe for intelligent conversation, and it can help you to really broaden your own thoughts and ideas about the world. But in this part of the world, we are the same Chinese zodiac, and that counts for a lot. 15. That is a year older than me. But recently, after taking an inventory of my relationships, I realized for the first time, the ages of my friends are all over the map. I want you to notice what you think about this. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Because of his experience. Sooner or later, you’ll stop caring, and you’ll just enjoy the ride. I want you to notice what your immediate assumptions are. I'm sure many people can identify with that. Making friends with someone older has taught me to take life one day at a time and learn from her life experiences. I have a girl friend that is about 10 years younger than me, I'm 27. As you get older, you begin to care less and less about what others think. Older friends provide a perspective or outlook you might not have considered. Be prepared to spend your entire life trying to get your "sh*t together." We've been dating for three years (and living a distance relationship on top of that). As an incessant late bloomer, it can take me years to develop skills, have experiences, and learn concepts that some people seem to grasp early and without much effort. We are similar in our outlooks and views. I really enjoy the young perspective they offer to my life and I suppose my advice might be something they value. By Thomas Kuegler. Except for the fact that being born in 1912 – the same year the Titanic went down – my father was old enough to be my … Just the other day during a text conversation he said "I didn't start traveling until I was 30." When I was a kid my good friend who was a couple years younger than me couldn't understand how I was older than her if her birthday was before mine. Here, a 25-year-old woman explains what it's really like dating an older man nearly 15 years her senior—and lays out the good and bad parts of dating older men. Here 's what I 've Learned more than half my age and are female to good coffee enjoyÂ... 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